Say I Am You
by screaming-poetically
Summary: A collection of oneshots focusing around the team at Princeton Plainsborough.
1. Author's Note

Author's Note:

This is just to clear up the outline/format of the story, because when I posted "Psych 30" I had a few problems with readers thinking it was one singular story. This is a collection of one-shots for the House general series, based upon the album "Say I Am You" put out by The Weepies in 2005. Each one-short is posted accordingly with a different track from the album.

Say I Am You ;; The Weepies

1. Take It From Me  
2. Gotta Have You  
3. World Spins Madly On  
4. Citywide Rodeo  
5. Riga Girls  
6. Suicide Blonde  
7. Painting by Chagall  
8. Nobody Knows Me At All  
9. Not Your Year  
10. Living In Twilight  
11. Stars  
12. Love Doesn't Last Too Long  
13. Slow Pony Home


	2. Not Your Year

Title: Cracked Rear View  
Fandom: House  
Pairing: Previous House/Stacy, unrequited House/Cameron.  
CD & Song: Say I Am You – Not Your Year (The Weepies)  
Rating: FRT  
Notes: Minor spoilers for 2.10 "Failure to Communicate"; also for the prompt i Stacy Warner / Dr. Allison Cameron / rooftop at Ragna's Almost Totally Random prompt generator.

**Cracked Rear View**_  
_

_Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall  
Some impressions stay and some will fade  
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor  
Your life feels like the morning after all year long_

You realize that soon, it will have been nearly a year since you first decided that you were in love with him. It's not as if you're counting or anything. But maybe you are. You want to know that he loves you, but that's obviously not going to happen. He's still in love with Stacy, and you were wrong when you thought he couldn't love anyone; he just couldn't love you. It hurts in a way that you haven't felt before, not even when your husband died.

It's cold and you're thankful for it, because it distracts you from thinking (at least too much) about House. You remember when he told you that he didn't like you, and how it stung even though you know he didn't mean it, not then and not now. Not ever. But just as that thought crosses your mind, the door to the rooftop bangs open and she comes out, and you hate it. This was supposed to be your alone time, time to give you a little space to mourn your unrequited love in solitude and snow.

She glances at you out of the corner of her eyes as she shuffles her feet and shoves her gloved hands into her jacket pocket. You can tell that this is just as uncomfortable for her as it is for you, but somehow that doesn't make it any easier.

_Every day it starts again  
You cannot say if you're happy  
You keep trying to be  
Try harder, maybe this is not your year_

"Hey, Allison. You're a good doctor, you know that?"

Stacy's attempt at conversation surprises you; you had thought that she might go for the obvious "It's really cold out here" or that she might ignore you altogether. But despite any animosity you have towards her, the fact that she would compliment your skills when obviously she still isn't any kind of easy around you – it means something. You're not quite sure what yet.

"Thanks," you say. You know that it's kind of obvious that you doubt her comment because she shoots you a quick and sincere smile as she looks out over the snowy grounds of the hospital.

"I heard you've been having arguments with Mark. I'm sorry."

She stares at you, a hard penetrating stare that makes you wish you hadn't said anything because you know that it really wasn't your place. She sighs regretfully and leans forward on the wall, resting her elbows on the dusting of snow there.

"It's true. And over the smallest things, too. I don't understand it; I don't think I want to, either." Stacy pauses a moment before saying, "He thinks I'm still in love with Greg."

_Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected  
There's a world of shiny people somewhere else  
Out there, following their bliss  
Living easy, getting kissed  
While you wonder what else you're doing wrong_

You could've seen this coming, if you were looking for it. But you weren't and even though you don't want to know the answer to the question, you ask it anyway. You hate yourself for it the millisecond after it leaves your mouth and the worst thing is, she doesn't even seem surprised that you've asked.

"Do you? Still love him, I mean."

You're careful not to look at her as she replies, because just in case she says yes, you don't want her to see the deep despair that will appear in your eyes. And, if she (hopefully) says no, you really don't want her to see the relief in your eyes – which would just be rude.

"I never really thought about it; I was always so busy loving Mark that I tried not to think about it. But I do still love him. And, Allison, you have to believe me—"

Her cellphone rings just then, and you're grateful for it, because you don't want to hear apologies. Not ever, and not from Stacy, because no one should apologize for love and you're trying _so hard_ to hate her right now. Inside, you know that you're too nice to hate her if she apologizes. She sends you a soft look and says she has to go, some legal trouble (no doubt about ethics and House and a possible lawsuit if Cuddy didn't intervene _as soon as possible_—) and then she's walking quickly back to the door and the wind starts picking up. You can tell that it's going to snow harder; the flakes are getting thicker and more frequent, and you think that maybe you should go inside as well.

Even though the wind is picking up fiercely, it's nearly howling now, before Stacy returns to the warmth of the hospital you hear her say, "Sorry."

_Breathe through it, write lists of desires  
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires  
Paint a heart repeating, beating  
"Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."_


	3. Painting by Chagall

Title: Saying No  
Fandom: House  
Pairing: House/Cameron.  
CD & Song: Say I Am You – Painting by Chagall (The Weepies)  
Rating: FRT  
Word Count: 636  
Disclaimer: Me no own.  
Notes: Spoilers for 3. 01, "Meaning."

**Saying No**

_Thunder rumbles in the distance, a quiet intensity  
I am willful, your insistence is tugging at the best of me  
You're the moon; I'm the water  
You're Mars, calling up Neptune's daughter_

She had been waiting for this ever since she started working for him. Ever since she really got to know him. And now, now that House had finally asked her out on a date, finally asked her out for drinks (and dinner, we could do that too) she had said no. And maybe he was right; maybe the reason she had said no was because there was nothing in it for her now that he could walk. Maybe she felt that she didn't need to fix him anymore, now that he was healthy. But inside she knew that he wasn't any more healthy than she was; she was just as damaged inside as he was, albeit in different ways.

Cameron thinks that maybe she said no for reasons she still can't understand. Maybe it's like Chase said when he walked her to her car. Maybe she's in love with House but she's afraid for him to love her back. Or maybe it's like Wilson said, that maybe House wants to catch her off guard, to control the situation, whereas before, Cameron's feelings for House threw him off kilter. He didn't know what to do, so he rejected her and pushed her away.

_Sometimes rain that's needed falls  
We float like two lovers in a painting byChagall  
All around is sky and blue town__  
Holding these flowers for a wedding gown  
We live so high above the ground, satellites surround us._

Schrodinger's Cat. Inside a box, there lies a cat that has been theoretically poisoned. We are not sure that the cat has been poisoned, but until such a time that we can open the box and check, the cat is both alive and dead. In other words, a paradox. Something is true and yet untrue at the same time. Sort of like the way Cameron feels about House. She loves him but she doesn't.

And she knows that it's going to bother her for ages that he was smiling when she said no. It was like he knew something she didn't. She doesn't understand how a man can smile when a woman he has an apparent interest in is rejecting him. Unless, of course, that man is Gregory House and he knows something she doesn't about herself. Something along the lines of, after her shift in the clinic she's going to go see him in his office and ask him out to dinner because saying no was a huge mistake.

Cameron, she thinks, you are so in over your head here.

_I am humbled in this city  
There seems to be an endless sea of people like us  
Wakeful dreamers, I pass them on the sunlit streets  
In our rooms filled with laughter  
We make hope from every small disaster_

She knows that House isn't healthy. He never is, and she knows for certain that he stole some prescription slips from Wilson's office – but still, she asks him out on a date and he says yes after a considerable amount of time. She nearly walks out of the office before he calls her back and tells her to wear something beautiful and that he'll pay for the food. It isn't exactly what she expected. In fact, Cameron actually expected House to say no, that asking her out in the first place was some kind of twisted experiment to test her will and the depth of her spirit. But he says yes, and she's too happy to say anything but "Okay. That's…that's good."

He calls after her that he'll pick her up at eight o'clock, and as she walks down the hall she hugs her patient's chart to her chest and smiles softly. She runs into Chase on the way to Cuddy's office, where she's supposed to drop off the finalized chart, and he notices the odd look on her face. He snarks something about her getting laid – maybe it's not too far from the truth, or maybe Chase has been off since their one night stand some time ago. It was never exactly fair for Chase and she feels bad, but not bad enough that she'll let the thoughts bring her down. After all, she's done with work for the night and she has a date with Gregory House.

Nothing can go wrong.

_Everybody says "you can't, you can't, you can't, don't try."  
Still everybody says that if they had the chance they'd fly like we do._


End file.
